Don’t Wait for a Eulogy

When’s the last time you wrote a note thanking someone for impacting your life?

And hey, don’t get down just because I said the word eulogy…it’s a helpful reminder we all have limited time here.

Last month, my husband made a career decision resulting in a major pivot. Following a considerable amount of reflection and networking, he determined that he wanted to grow and contribute in new ways. On the brink of a milestone birthday, he made a brave and bold move out of his comfort zone to embark on this new journey. He left behind a 25-year career as a college rowing coach and leaped into a software sales position. I know. It shocked me too.

Upon the announcement of his departure, he received an outpouring of texts, emails, and cards from current and former athletes, parents, colleagues and industry contacts. And amidst many letters thanking him for his dedicated coaching, wishing him well in his next venture, there was also a large handful of longer notes expressing how he had impacted everything from these women’s’ overall attitudes in life, their work ethic, and even the career choices. Some stories were deeply personal about how he was a father-figure; others shared detailed memories of funny moments at early morning practices; recent recruits expressed how he was a key factor in their college decision. The bottom line — all of these notes were all impactful. Each personal communication from someone who he helped and thus affected had great meaning to him and made the significant transition ahead of him easier.

It occurred to me, as I witnessed the constant inbound messages and then his attention to responding to each, was what a gift this was. This major life and career transition prompted so many notes of appreciation. Had he never left coaching, would he have ever heard from so many of his athletes sharing the impact their experience on his team had on their lives — many of them now well into their 30’s with their own families, careers, and other athletic endeavors achieved?

Often, we leave messages of appreciation unsaid. I imagine a eulogy at a funeral, and just how impactful the words shared in memory of our beloved then would have been to the person while they were alive. We talk a lot about gratitude in the media lately, but not enough about the connection that ought to go with it — sharing our gratitude with the people for whom we are grateful.

Speaking from my own experience, when a client, friend, or family take the time to thank me genuinely — where I feel like they really see me, it means the world. And so I try to do it as much as possible (but not nearly enough) for those who serve me. It makes sense that research indicates the intentional act of saying thanks can have a positive psychological benefit for both receiver and giver.

Who’s had an impact on your life in a big way, and what would you tell them? Would you take 10 minutes and write them a letter or an email today? Expressing this gratitude will likely give you the same feeling of bliss they’re sure to feel on the other end of your note!